into the pyre

I recoil in horror from the thing I've become, but then I'm gradually made aware that this is who I have always been. Part of me has always been intent on hell. I guess I like the aesthetic. Horns and tails, Dark eyeliner and cloven hooves.

On the other hand I keep trying to climb that stairway to heaven, but the steps fall out from beneath my feet as soon as I put weight on them and I can't outrun them so I have to just fall and it looks like I'm going to fall forever, but

Then I reach the bottom and she's down there waiting for me, grey skinned and tending the fires of lust. My fear of falling disappears and the flames aren't what I expected casting shadows of carnal dancing and illuminating the sacrifice of the men who sold their souls like I did.