validation

I want, or at this point need validation.

I never get it.

No matter how many times I refine my argument, no matter how lucid or eloquent I am, no matter how well I answer every last critique or objection, I never get it.

It's not fair.

I am exhausted.

I feel as if I have no mouth, but I must scream.

I feel as if I am cut off from humanity, pathologically different in some way.

I feel like an alien or as if I am surrounded by beings that only look like me, but are in some way fundamentally hostile to me.

Even if I am wrong, what are the chances that I am completely alone in being wrong? Shouldn't somebody else be wrong with me and say that I am right?